Day 429-433: LA as a Happy Ending

Day II.64 (429) - Saturday, August 18
Time with the bff and the boys. I am so lucky. And an incredible, incredible dinner at WhiskNLadle, a restaurant owned by a great new friend. 

Day II.65 (430) - Sunday, August 19
Father's Office for dinner with three amazing guys. Also, the rice krispie streusel ice cream ball dessert!

Day II.66 (431) - Monday, August 20

This is home. I'll be back.

Day II.67 (432) - Tuesday, August 21

I am savoring my last days here. It doesn't hurt to have an out-of-town guest visiting, so I have excuses to do all the things I love doing but don't usually make time to do on worknights.

Day II.68 (433)  - Wednesday, August 22

Getting to see this man at the end of a busy day makes my day, completely, every time it happens. And a drink on the rooftop at High Bar in Venice Beach, during a California summer? Perfecter than perfect.

Day 426 - 428: Movin' on up

Day II.61 (426): Wednesday, August 15, 2012

 

“Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation.”
-W.H. Sheldon

 

Also referred to as "owning it." Seems an easy thing to say, but can be a bit rougher to do.

I am owning my choices, owning my somewhat nonlinear path. Thank god for all of it. And jumping in, fully, to the gorgeous journey ahead. Chicago, life, love, the PhD, world: let's do this thing!

 

Day II.62 (427): Thursday, August 16, 2012 

I heard last week a great piece of advice: Figure out what makes you happy, and learn how to ask for it. 

 

Again: so simple. But so big!

 

Tonight while doing the Culver City stairs, two great things happened. First, I lapped a couple of guys, who gave me fist-bumps as I started on my fourth round. One said, "Girl you're a badass!" when I answered their question, "How many is that?" Why, thank you.

 

Second, as I was coming down I realized something by tripping over my own feet. See, the stairs are so steep, and let's be honest, they're a little uneven (think Hundertwasserian lines) that you have to keep eyes on them at all times. But if you stop - and look up - you see the whole city and the range of the Santa Monicas and the Hollywood Hills and the Sierra Nevadas in front of you. It's breathtaking. But you can't enjoy the view, and the longshot, and the seeing where you've come, while moving. You have to stop moving - take a pause - breathe - look up. And then when it's time to get moving again, you put your head down and focus on the next stair ahead of you.

 

Day II.63 (428): Friday, August 17, 2012

I have been counting down to this day for 17 insanely long days. I am so grateful and excited and have so many things to enjoy coming down the pike!

 

Day 424 - 425: Letting go of the chaff

Day II.59 (424): Monday, August 13
Tonight I just got to be alone in my house. I appreciate this profoundly after two weekends away and a weekend with a visitor and then some crazy stressful days in between where I wasn't around much. And last night my flights were so delayed that I barely got home in time to go to sleep before going to work today.

My dear friend Lucas asked me to go running with him tonight, a later run since the heat's been in the 90s here. It was beautiful - perfect and fresh and cool. Also, I'm grateful that he let me just vent to him all my anxiety about all the new things beginning and growing in my life. Years ago, my friend Hong made a painting of a proverb for me, that reads, "A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." As time passes, the more I realize how tremendously valuable and beautiful a thing those friendships are.


Day II.60 (425): Tuesday, August 14

Today was the last day of laps at the pretty pool. Can we just talk for a minute about how cute the little fish gargoyle-fountains are in the corners? Ok, thank you!

I also got to test out my new goggles today (after two separate incidents of the strap tearing on me!). They're really clear. I was amazed at how much I could see, it was gorgeous to watch the light filtering through the water!

As I swam my last lap in this pool (not to be melodramatic, but USC is tearing it down next summer, so it...really is the last time I'll swim there), I just held  in my heart so much gratitude. Spending my lunchtimes in that pool has given me so much joy and peace, and for that I'm tremendously grateful.

Day 417 - 423: Chicago Part II, the part before permanent

Day II.52 (417): Monday, August 6, 2012
The last weeks of riding my bike to work and swimming the beautiful USC mosaic pool!
I can't help but remember how I didn't want to swim in this pool to begin with...makes me wonder what delights are in store for me if I can just accept them!


Day II.53 (418): Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I have faith, this is going to be ok.


Day II.54 (419): Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Good thing I remembered my meditation beads.

Day II.55 (420): Thursday, August 9, 2012
I woke up today to the best news via email a girl with a hardcore crush can get. And then I found a lucky penny in the shower. All signs pointed to a great day!

And then I found it. The perfect adorable apartment for Ruby and me.

And tonight I realized something beautiful and huge. I was so anxious. I've never been rejected when applying for apartments, not once. But I was so anxious about this. As I lay in my bed at the flat where we're staying (and when I say flat I am describing its character as well as the noun referring to apartment), I realized - I need to come from a place of abundance. I had seen at least two viable alternatives if this fell through. And in reality, the universe has been so good to me this year. Why would I not trust the bounty and goodness of the world?

I swear, as soon as I let go of these fears I held so deeply, as soon as I let go of this thing I needed to let go of, and just started to trust - just jumped into the big blue yonder - since then, everything has lined up perfectly. I have received blessings more beautiful and amazing and touching and real than I could ever have imagined.

Trust in the abundance and beauty of the world. This is the lesson here. So I trust that this place I want to live in, it will come to me. And if not, then there is something else equally wonderful in store for me.

Day II.56 (421): Friday, August 10, 2012
And then we got the apartment. Like I said, trust in the bounty of the world.

Also, thank goodness for the self-awareness and knowing what I need to get my head right. Last night I made the parents drive me to Target to buy some cheap running shoes so I could hit the lake shore. Amazing how an hour to yourself with some headphones, pushing yourself, can get your head straightened out.
 
Day II.57 (422): Saturday, August 11, 2012

What else would Harringtons do in a major city with the day off?
If you guessed, "Hit a museum ten minutes after they open their doors," you'd be correct.
Clearly, I come by this honestly.
These, among other delights that will give you goosebumps, are at the Art Institute of Chicago. Can I tell you how excited I am to come back here again and abuse my AAM nerdpass?

I've never seen a Mondrian like this. So incredible!

This is one of my favorite paintings, in the entire world, by one of my top three favorite painters. And I got to see it today in real life! 

I loved the lotus detail in the palm...

Marc Chagall's America Windows. No one, I mean no one, does blue like Chagall.

I asked my mom to get a pic of my dad & me. This is what we got :)

My parents at Anish Kapoor's Cloud Gate (or, The Bean)

Day II.58 (423): Sunday, August 12, 2012
So many things painful - so many things in life that just sting at the surface...and how difficult to learn to let them go.

Thankful for a safe trip home, however delayed.

"But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in."  
                                   -- Junot Diaz

Oh god. So true. So true.

Thankful for a safe trip home, however delayed. Hey, it gave me a chance to finish The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.  The only way out is in.

Day 414-416: Going Nowhere and Getting Somewhere

Day II.49 (414) - Friday, August 3, 2012

“There are no new truths, but only truths that have not been recognized by those who have perceived them without noticing.”
-Mary McCarthy

Day II.50 (415) - Saturday, August 4, 2012
If you are making your journey in a hurry, you are making it poorly. 
-Tea Obreht

The Bridge to Nowhere hike, another item on my LA bucket list, was successfully crossed off today. It was definitely not a speedy journey, all ten miles of it, but it was so incredibly beautiful. And there is nothing to compare to the simple delight of jumping into a cool pool of water on a hot summer day.

Day II.51 (416) - Sunday, August 5, 2012
I am grateful for love. I spent today's meditation thinking about being a place to receive love gracefully.

I can give it, because giving love, to me, involves no vulnerability. If the love is unreciprocated, then it's on the other person, it is not shameful for me.

But can I receive it? Gracefully? This acceptance involves a vulnerability that I can't quite explain or put my finger on. Perhaps it is a fear of dependence. I want to be able to accept love.

Day 410 - 413: Simple blessings and salted caramel

Day II.45 (410) - Monday, July 30, 2012
How can I be anything but grateful for a walk along the Charles with someone I love spending time with on a breezy summer evening, after having salted caramel ice cream?

Day II.46 (411) - Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Back to my little Airdrome sanctuary, and home safely. It was quite the journey.

Day II.47 (412) - Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Sometimes things happen, emergencies. We have close calls. Tonight was one. I am so thankful that my loved ones are safe tonight, especially my favorite and beloved "nephews."


Day II.48 (413) - Thursday, August 2, 2012
I got to exercise again today. I know this sounds fake, but...I have been traveling and my exercise schedule has been sporadic at best because of it. Today I did the Culver City stairs three times, and it felt so great. Exerting myself physically helps me sleep better, and undoes pain in my back. And maybe the endorphins can't hurt either!

Days 406 - 409: New Beginnings and Met Expectations

 Day II.41 (406) - Thursday, July 26, 2012
You know when you want something so terribly badly to work and you are trying to rein your expectations in because you are so delicately afraid of not having your heart met and then it turns out that everything you dreamed of is possible and your expectations met?


Day II.42 (407) - Friday, July 27, 2012

Above, instructions for a museum (Boston's MFA), but also for life: enjoy, relax, dance, touch, listen, sing, muse....

Below: sometimes life is radiant. Arthur Dove knew this.



Day II.43 (408) - Saturday, July 28, 2012

Today, a day on Cape Cod with great new friends. I have been so lucky in collecting friends thus far in life, and am glad to welcome new allies and companions.

Day II.44 (409) - Sunday, July 29, 2012

With you, I breathe - by Tracey Emin.
I think it's genuinely possible that I might live happily ever after.  After all.