The 480s, and the meaning of life (while we're at it)

Monday, October 1 - Day II.109 (473) - Thursday, October 18 - Day II.126 (490)
So when your hope's on fire...don't hold a glass over the flame, don't let your heart grow cold, I will call your name, I will share your road.  - Mumford & Sons, Hopeless Wanderer 
 
Ok fine. This is cheating a little bit. But grad school is tough, so I get some concessions, right?

Grad school makes you focus on the important things. Tonight I am brought low in the face of them.

I have so many blessings: I have a great roommate, who helps me manage the rigors of this program and its demands; I have a great apartment that is a beautiful space to live in; I have my health. I get to bike to school most days along Lake Michigan, and I get to watch this great body of water, so big she has waves!, I get to watch her change colors and seasons and know her movements, great & small. I get to watch the trees turn colors as the seasons change, and the leaves fall, and I reminded how fantastic seasons are: they teach us, as Parker Palmer reminds us, to appreciate the circumstance we are in.

My mother had two children because she wanted us to have each other after she and my father were gone. Every day I am grateful for my sister, already. To know someone in your soul, what this means....I think many people go through life without this kind of connection to another person.

I am thankful for Search, all those years ago, a retreat put on by the Jesuits at SU, because that experience created the most caring friendships I have. My life is definitely a search, a quest. But it would be nothing without the companion that Search gave me - my friendship with Berna has been sustaining, deep, and powerful - in ways I anticipated, and in ways I did not foresee. It is trite to say I am grateful for this amazing and our ever-growing friendship, but I am not sure how to convey this sentiment any more honestly than that. Our lives are vastly different, and take us in different directions, but the wisdom, love and validation that she offers me are unceasing. I can only aspire to reflect that back to her, to earn that honor.

I am so thankful for Rob. At my dear friend Shane's wedding, the officiant noted that when you find your other, it takes courage to recognize that, to see it, to own it, to grow into that relationship, to be seen for who you are and acknowledged and loved for that. She was right. It does take courage, and ownership...but there is nothing more meaningful or worthy in life. How lucky am I, to find a man who sees me in my entirety and loves me anyway, who shares the same joy and delight at life's eccentricities, whose kindness and generosity know no bounds? This love is absolutely life's highest calling, and greatest blessing and I cherish it every moment.



to have & to hold, a lover of the light

There are not words enough for this gratitude - it overwhelms me, renders me (even me!) speechless and tearful in the face of it.

I cannot be me without you.

I wish for you every blessing, every deep love, every good thing that this earth and its people can offer to one another.



 

Day 424 - 425: Letting go of the chaff

Day II.59 (424): Monday, August 13
Tonight I just got to be alone in my house. I appreciate this profoundly after two weekends away and a weekend with a visitor and then some crazy stressful days in between where I wasn't around much. And last night my flights were so delayed that I barely got home in time to go to sleep before going to work today.

My dear friend Lucas asked me to go running with him tonight, a later run since the heat's been in the 90s here. It was beautiful - perfect and fresh and cool. Also, I'm grateful that he let me just vent to him all my anxiety about all the new things beginning and growing in my life. Years ago, my friend Hong made a painting of a proverb for me, that reads, "A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away." As time passes, the more I realize how tremendously valuable and beautiful a thing those friendships are.


Day II.60 (425): Tuesday, August 14

Today was the last day of laps at the pretty pool. Can we just talk for a minute about how cute the little fish gargoyle-fountains are in the corners? Ok, thank you!

I also got to test out my new goggles today (after two separate incidents of the strap tearing on me!). They're really clear. I was amazed at how much I could see, it was gorgeous to watch the light filtering through the water!

As I swam my last lap in this pool (not to be melodramatic, but USC is tearing it down next summer, so it...really is the last time I'll swim there), I just held  in my heart so much gratitude. Spending my lunchtimes in that pool has given me so much joy and peace, and for that I'm tremendously grateful.

Day 400 - 402: Palm Springs, Part II & Joshua Tree

Day II.35 (400) - Friday, July 20 // Day II.36 (401) - Saturday, July 21 // Day II.37 (402) - Sunday, July 22

What a lovely weekend with my friends Shane, Amy & Nathan at Palm Springs & Joshua Tree. This was another thing on my LA Bucket List, and I am so profoundly grateful for an incredible trip with great friends.

 at Key's View: Nathan, Amy, me & Shane

 at Jumbo Rocks!

 Dinner at Lulu's

 Pool to myself, first thing in the am, under a mountain. Blessed.

View from the top!

Day 279 - Shaking the devil off your back

So grateful for my friend Laura Gonzalez. Nothing like a good long chat when you're with a soulmate and sharing the devils on your back, no judgment, just loving each other and easing the load by sharing it.

Day 193: It's a Wonderful Life

"Remember, no (wo)man is a failure who has friends."

Day 66: Diane

for Friday, August 19, 2011

I'm grateful that my friend Diane was able to come down for one last visit before I leave NYC! It's been great having her in Boston, and being in NYC, as we've been able to see each other once a year or so while I've been here. Diane and I bonded in the most unlikely of circumstances (working as lowly admins at a commercial real estate firm) back in 2005 in Seattle. We have come a long way since then - both of us! And I'm so grateful that we have remained friends, and I continue to be in awe of my gorgeous friend, who's funny, brilliant (she's earning a doctorate!), politically savvy, and a fellow traveler, curious about the world and everything and everyone in it. Here's a photo timeline of our friendship - we'll be sure to add another link after this weekend, and I can't wait to see how our friendship continues to grow and the adventures we'll share together in the years to come.

August 2005, Vancouver, BC

October 2007, Boston

October 2008 (Halloween, obviously), NYC

August 2010, New York City