Monday, October 1 - Day II.109 (473) - Thursday, October 18 - Day II.126 (490)
So when your hope's on fire...don't hold a glass over the flame, don't let your heart grow cold, I will call your name, I will share your road. - Mumford & Sons, Hopeless Wanderer
Ok fine. This is cheating a little bit. But grad school is tough, so I get some concessions, right?
Grad school makes you focus on the important things. Tonight I am brought low in the face of them.
I have so many blessings: I have a great roommate, who helps me manage the rigors of this program and its demands; I have a great apartment that is a beautiful space to live in; I have my health. I get to bike to school most days along Lake Michigan, and I get to watch this great body of water, so big she has waves!, I get to watch her change colors and seasons and know her movements, great & small. I get to watch the trees turn colors as the seasons change, and the leaves fall, and I reminded how fantastic seasons are: they teach us, as Parker Palmer reminds us, to appreciate the circumstance we are in.
My mother had two children because she wanted us to have each other after she and my father were gone. Every day I am grateful for my sister, already. To know someone in your soul, what this means....I think many people go through life without this kind of connection to another person.
I am thankful for Search, all those years ago, a retreat put on by the Jesuits at SU, because that experience created the most caring friendships I have. My life is definitely a search, a quest. But it would be nothing without the companion that Search gave me - my friendship with Berna has been sustaining, deep, and powerful - in ways I anticipated, and in ways I did not foresee. It is trite to say I am grateful for this amazing and our ever-growing friendship, but I am not sure how to convey this sentiment any more honestly than that. Our lives are vastly different, and take us in different directions, but the wisdom, love and validation that she offers me are unceasing. I can only aspire to reflect that back to her, to earn that honor.
I am so thankful for Rob. At my dear friend Shane's wedding, the officiant noted that when you find your other, it takes courage to recognize that, to see it, to own it, to grow into that relationship, to be seen for who you are and acknowledged and loved for that. She was right. It does take courage, and ownership...but there is nothing more meaningful or worthy in life. How lucky am I, to find a man who sees me in my entirety and loves me anyway, who shares the same joy and delight at life's eccentricities, whose kindness and generosity know no bounds? This love is absolutely life's highest calling, and greatest blessing and I cherish it every moment.
to have & to hold, a lover of the light
There are not words enough for this gratitude - it overwhelms me, renders me (even me!) speechless and tearful in the face of it.
I cannot be me without you.
I wish for you every blessing, every deep love, every good thing that this earth and its people can offer to one another.
Ditto, my friend.
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