Day 360 & Beyond: Reflecting on one year of gratitude

Day 360 - Saturday June 9, 2012
After a long time away and then a stressful week, sleeping in on a Saturday is an incredible gift.

Day 361 - Sunday, June 10, 2012
Tomorrow is the day my dad's book comes out in Barnes & Nobles stores across America. It is his accomplishment, the monumental achieving of a life's work.

I am grateful for his dogged persistence on this book, because his hard work has shown that dreams do come true, and that hard work is rewarded.

Day 362 - Monday, June 11, 2012

Today I went swimming in the back-up pool. Because USC is doing construction on the locker rooms in the regular pool and gym complex, they've opened up an alternate pool (indoors) and locker rooms for bike commuters and whatnot.

At first, I was really unhappy about this. I am addicted to swimming laps outside. I was so angry that USC had foiled my major job perk, as well as making my mornings more complex.

I decided that I would give the back-up pool a shot. It's pretty great. It's this old 40's style building, it's all tiled, and there are huge skylights in the ceiling that let in these incredible shafts of light.

I realized that one of my major problems in life, in my mindset, is that I want things to be something they're not, I have a false expectation of what they should be in my head - rather than allowing them to be what they are. If I give things, or people, or experiences, the opportunity to be whatever they are, there are good things and beauty in them. But I have to give them space to be what they are, without trying to force them to be something else.

So for now, I am enjoying swimming laps indoors in this crazy old building. I'm enjoying it for what it is.

Day 363 - Tuesday June 12, 2012
To build on yesterday, I have started to look at Chicago for Chicago. Not mourning Chicago for not being LA, or that I can't swim or hike or do the things I do here in LA because of LA's climate - but looking at the unique things that Chicago can offer.

This is what my graduate advisor meant when she said, take things seriously on their own terms. This was an invocation for anthropology, but it is also a wise invocation for life.

Day 364 -  Wednesday June 13, 2012

The magnolias are blooming, impossibly huge beautiful white flowers.

Day 365 - One Year of Gratitude - Thursday, June 14, 2012
Tonight my student asked me what a comma was. He didn't know the name, he just pointed to the punctuation mark. He is over 60 years old. Every once in a while I have these experiences with him, where I feel the weight of my privilege and my blessings like a Mack truck. To even write this blog, in (mostly) coherent English - to communicate myself to the world in this way - even this is a blessing, worthy of gratitude (maybe not your blessings and gratitude, dear readers!).

My experience with my student reminds me how powerful and beautiful the gift of words and literacy is. I am so lucky to be lettered, not only to be able to read in multiple alphabets but to have had a stellar, enviable education. As I look back on this year of gratitude, I feel like it has been a slow exploration, an uncovering, a making visible of all these gifts that have been invisible to me, making them visible. 

The truth is that this year has been exceptionally difficult. But it is also the truth that my background and my life so far have prepared me well for the the hard knocks. I am equipped to handle the storms that life sends my way. I know this with certainty because of what I have survived, and come through to thrive.

I am so thankful for the difficult days and situations and relationships, because they offer me the chance to grow into someone better, to question my assumptions and open up to new experiences and people. I'm so incredibly grateful, and so deeply thankful to have my life and be in my skin.