2-28-08
from Bangkok, Thailand
I am at the end of my second day here in Bangkok, and it has definitely been an education. I am exhausted but full of delicious Thai food and completely ready for bed...in the Massage Parlor King's hotel.
What?
Our troubles at the Davis started yesterday when Kecia, who had requested a nonsmoking room, was assigned a smoking one. I’m not entirely sure how the desk clerk didn’t see this coming; if he had any discerning capacities he’d have understood from her long, unbound hair, her organic-textile skirt, and the beads bejeweling her neck, ears and fingers that she’s not the kind of woman who smokes. In fact, she’s the kind of woman who walks around barefoot to “feel the earth,” eats seaweed, and uses nontraditional grains in her bizarre salads. She doesn’t even have a chair in her office; she uses a burgundy inflatable ball. A smoking room is something she didn't take lying down. Picture a righteous yogic anger compounded by transoceanic jet lag, and you’ll arrive at something akin to the clerk’s experience.
While we waited for the scurrying clerk to rectify Kecia’s room situation, we went to collect our "welcome drink" at the hotel bar. When we requested wine (necessary to dull the edge of the jet lag), we were informed that the welcome drink was 7-Up only. Rolling our eyes, we ordered a wine chaser with our 7-Up. We were quietly sipping our purchased wine when out of nowhere, two scantily clad Thai ladies clambered aboard a makeshift stage in their knee-high leather boots and proceeded to sing cheesy pop songs into microphones, about two feet behind us. All signs indicated that a restful trip to Bangkok wasn’t in the stars for us.
Then today the bombshell dropped.
Yes. We discovered today that the owner & designer of our hotel, Chuvit Davis, is a notorious character around Bangkok. He made a fortune on massage parlors, which he then parlayed into a massive hotel complex (that mistakenly brands itself as a boutique hotel - it is certainly not). While I can make no comment about his political qualifications, the hotel décor is a hideous, sour version of the W hotel meets traditional Thai decoration. Something about the whole scheme is saccharine, fake, artificial, like you could just peel back the entire wall, the entire hotel suite. But now that I know that I am staying somewhere decorated by the "massage parlor king," everything makes more sense...Every Thai we told where we were staying (including cab drivers) has smirked. Also, Mr. Chuvit is trying to run for public office, on the platform of being a watchdog for Thai decency and morals and culture. Jay told us that he puts huge billboards of himself all over Bangkok. We unwittingly are contributing to his advertising campaign! His marketing campaign for the hotel (which is on free postcards, and the calendar in the room, and everything) is "The Way We Live in the Davis, Bangkok." Living as a madam? Pimp?
Yesterday Kecia and I had gone to Siam Paragon to get cell phones and do some basic shopping, and today we headed over to SPAFA (our partner) to do some workshop business. Our partner Jay is wonderful (she also very kindly informed us the true nature of our hotel owner). She sent us out with her colleague Mo and a driver to do some shopping. We had thought we were being clever by not buying most of our supplies in the US, but instead planning to buy them in BKK. After all, BKK is sophisticated and a business capital of the world.
Not so much a capital of laser printer labels or flipcharts of white paper...our lovely friend Mo did the best she could do, with all five feet of her tiny adorable self leaning over various counters in her sparkly shoes and speaking rapid-fire Thai accompanied to hand motions ("big paper" "flip" "stick" "divide") but to no avail. We were met only with blank looks, not blank paper, and squiggly eyebrows. We are label-less, and our flipchart will be man-made. As in, large pieces of paper that we literally clip together. First class all the way, Getty.
As we drove the streets of Dusit and Phra Athit (n. Bangkok), we noted that many Thais were wearing black and white. I remembered from my visit last year that many Thais wore yellow polos with the royal crest on them. The Thais love them some king. Mo explained that the black and white is for mourning, and for 100 days. The King's sister, a beloved princess, passed away earlier this year, and there has been ordained 100 days of mourning, during which all government employees are required to wear black and white (for the rest of the population, it is merely a recommendation). The Royal Garden outside Wat Pra Keow is now a mourning ground, where mourners come to the royal palace to pay their respects to the princess. There are buses of students and country folk who come in, as well. It is difficult for me to imagine something similar in the US for a political figure or ruler - I cannot imagine us wearing black and white for 100 days as a nation to commemorate anyone...
Mo also told us as we passed the ministry of defense that originally all the canons decorating the carefully manicured lawn had been pointing out towards the street - and across the street at the Royal Palace. A few years ago, someone made a stink about it, saying it was inappropriate for even decorative canons to be hinting at firing at the King, so in the middle of the night the canons were turned, and now face north and south instead of west towards the palace. The idea of an army of tiny Thais grunting to turn canons 90 degrees in another direction in the middle of the night is hilarious to me.
Tonight, after braving an hour of traffic to at rush hour to cross the town from SPAFA to return to our hotel, Kecia and I stopped to have dinner at the Lemongrass restaurant, near the Emporium mall. It was amazing - we had a dish that was eggplant, yellow bean, and peanut, pomelo salad (well, Kecia did - I don't eat shrimp), and the spiciest green curry ever. Our waiter didn't tell us it was spicy - perhaps because Kecia is Asian he thought we were able to handle it? No. I thought my lips were actually burning off.
Now, I'm back in my hotel to finish up a few loose ends for the workshop while I watch Chinese MTV. (I know! I didn't know they were allowed to have MTV). The music here is so amazing - Kecia keeps making fun of me for knowing all the pop songs in malls, taxis, and lobbies - hey, a girl's gotta have some Backstreet Boys knowledge if she lived in Europe in the 90s, right? My choices are Chinese MTV and something called the Australia Network, which, when I watched ten minutes yesterday, was an instructional video on how to casually invite people to hang out with you, and featured a 50-something gentleman repeating phrases slowly and with subtitles. "Would you like to join us? It would be great if you could join us. Do you want to join us?" Since I already speak English I didn't find it super helpful, but it was interesting to see Western manners of hospitality reflected, detached from their standard cultural context.
Anyhow, meetings with UNESCO tomorrow, probably more shopping for things we won't find, and then finally some relief on the weekend - shopping at Jatujak, Wat Pho, massages. And hopefully more 3-flavor mangos to dip in chili sugar!
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