Day 78: Leaving NYC

Today's gratitude is slightly different, because it's gratitude from the road. So it's the usual gratitude post, but I want to include some of the journey that I'm on at the moment. Wait, haven't I already been including you in my journey? Yes, loved ones, but now the physical journey matches the emotional!

Today I'm grateful for things falling into place, even when it's completely chaotic! I got about four hours of sleep last night before getting up to finalize everything before movers arrived at 9am. Then before you know it, it was time to hand Henry back the keys.






I will miss our lovely little Sunset Park apartment. And the view from the living room window: a tree grows in Brooklyn. And it's beautiful, and it was home for a long time.



I will miss New York.



We crossed three state lines today (NY-NJ-PA), the Delaware River, passed the Little League Museum and the highest point on I-80 east of the Mississippi (2250 ft), and drove through the "wilds of PA," which look like a Bierstadt painting and are incredibly idyllic - so bucolic, so peaceful. We got to DuBois, PA, as the sun was setting and managed a quick dip in the pool before it closed at 9p. I'm excited to take a dip in the morning before we hit the road, headed for Ohio. Our goal for tomorrow is Joliet, Illinois.






Today I also came across a quotation from Adrienne Rich, one of my favorite poets:
"No one who survives to speak
new language, has avoided this:
the cutting-away of an old force that held her
rooted to an old ground - "

Here's to the new force.

Day 75, 76, 77

This is a tardy post for Sunday, August 28 - Tuesday August 30. In my defense, we had a hurricane outside, and it looks like a hurricane happened in my apartment too. Outside there are leaves strewn everywhere; in here there are clothes everywhere!

This is really happening.

For Sunday, I am so grateful that the hurricane didn't damage my car. It looked like this before and after Irene hit us!



For Monday, I am grateful for the Park Slope Post Office. Because the folks there were a whole heck of a lot nicer than the grinches down in Sunset Park at the 61st and 5th Ave Branch!

For Tuesday, I am thankful for so many lovely people that New York has brought into my life. Here's to Laura, Aubrey, Felicia, Jahi, and Colleen - I am so grateful that our paths crossed and I get to know you.





Thanks for coming out to say goodbye. Thanks to Katharine & Chris, who it's been a delight to get to know.



And to Daniel, who's just a stellar human being.

I am so profoundly and deeply thankful to the universe for bringing me Norah. She is the most gracious and graceful woman, and I would be so lost without her as my compass.

Day 74: Irene Hits NYC!

Above is the map of the next 24 hours of my life. I live at the top right corner of the box that reads "Inland."

Today I'm grateful to be inside, and dry, with power - for now. And I'm grateful to live in the highest part of Brooklyn! Good pick. We have lots of water, nonperishable food, and a huge moving/packing to-do list to keep us busy while indoors!

Please send your thoughts and well wishes towards the 600k Americans without power and the many more affected tonight by this storm, and keep your fingers crossed that the damage to us is minimal. I mean that both physically (my car!) as well as emotionally.

Day 73: All Things Pass

Today I'm grateful to be reminded that all things are come to an end, good or bad, but as Buddhism teaches, everything passes so we are best to appreciate things for what they are, and accept their passing by us.

It's a good lesson to keep in mind as Irene bears down on us.

Day 72: Mothers

I am grateful for my mom arriving today! Despite thunderstorms, connections in Milwaukee, and the airline industry in general (which makes it increasingly hard to get anywhere these days). It's really nice to have her here!

Day 71: The Final Train Commute

Today was my final commute from Sunset Park, Brooklyn, to Harlem, via train. I am so thankful that was my last commute! Public transportation is great, but an hour and 15 mins each way, each day, will make even the most optimistic person (definitely not me) a misanthrope.


View Larger Map

Day 70: Thich Nhat Hanh on Awakening the Heart

I know I'm starting to sound all transcendental and stuff, and I promise to be posting things that are much more concrete soon. After all, there's a road trip in my (very near!) future!

But...

A while ago, I found a book called True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart by Thich Nhat Hanh. It now sits next to my bed, and I find myself returning to it. It's a very short little tome, but it's very concise and brevity doesn't make these practices simple.



I am grateful to have a guide for what true love looks like (so I recognize it when I experience it, but also so that I can offer it out!) from Thich Nhat Hanh's work.

Day 69: Moments of Truth

Today I had a moment - well, a period of time - where I felt the heartbeat of life. It sounds cheesy, but driving home from meeting my friend Jailee at Earl's, the night was so clear and I was skimming along the BQE southbound, listening to really upbeat music. There's this part where the road hugs the Brooklyn waterfront, north of the Atlantic St exit, and you're right over the piers and the park and all of lower Manhattan is just floating there. And I had this moment where I realized, I came here, I did this, this is a piece of me now - and I can be proud of that. Not everyone is able to up & move to one of the greatest cities in the world! It takes guts. I did it, though. And it will always be part of me; I am richer for these three years. I felt in these moments how I am taking New York with me, how this experience was at once bounded in these three years but also continuing, living on, in my heart and my memory and in who I am now. I am not the same girl who arrived here in August 2008 - I'm a better version of her. I can be proud of that, because I did the hard work of transforming and I let New York in, but I am also grateful to have lived here.

I heart NY.

Day 68: the Desert

Images from Joshua Tree, 2008

I found these images today, going through my desk. I sorted a bunch of pictures, and continued my purging quest. These images are of Joshua Tree, the national park outside LA, and in many ways are representative of what I'm going back to: a stripped down simplicity. I have always found the desert so beautiful, perhaps because of my childhood in New Mexico. I am grateful for simplicity, the desert, and its quiet beauty.


"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do."
-Georgia O'Keeffe

Day 67: Malaysian food and Masters' friends

Tonight I had a lovely dinner at Nyonya, a Malaysian place in Chinatown. It was Nadia's going-away party - she's going to be spending at least the next year in Cairo. I got to eat completely delicious Malaysian food with a very dear friend (who happens to be one of the most brilliant thinkers and generous academics I've ever met!), and catch up with Melissa, Liam, Sarah M, Nadia K, and Tiffany, who I went to graduate school with at NYU in some form or another.

Things I will miss about New York: my NYU community and the incredible gastronomic delights of this city. Good thing airplanes come here and I can come gorge myself on food & friendship when I need to!

Day 66: Diane

for Friday, August 19, 2011

I'm grateful that my friend Diane was able to come down for one last visit before I leave NYC! It's been great having her in Boston, and being in NYC, as we've been able to see each other once a year or so while I've been here. Diane and I bonded in the most unlikely of circumstances (working as lowly admins at a commercial real estate firm) back in 2005 in Seattle. We have come a long way since then - both of us! And I'm so grateful that we have remained friends, and I continue to be in awe of my gorgeous friend, who's funny, brilliant (she's earning a doctorate!), politically savvy, and a fellow traveler, curious about the world and everything and everyone in it. Here's a photo timeline of our friendship - we'll be sure to add another link after this weekend, and I can't wait to see how our friendship continues to grow and the adventures we'll share together in the years to come.

August 2005, Vancouver, BC

October 2007, Boston

October 2008 (Halloween, obviously), NYC

August 2010, New York City

Day 65: Summer storms

I'm grateful for sudden, gorgeous, ravishing, drenching summer storms.


The Beauty of the Rain
By Dar Williams

And you know the light is fading all too soon
You're just two umbrellas one late afternoon
You don't know the next thing you will say
This is your favorite kind of day
It has no walls, the beauty of the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls

And there's nothing wrong, but there is something more
And sometimes you wonder what you love her for
She says you've known her deepest fears
Cause she's shown you a box of stained-glass tears
It can't be all, the truth about the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls

But when she gave you more to find
You let her think she'd lost her mind
and that's all on you
Feeling helpless if she asked for help
or scared you'd have to change yourself

And you can't deny this room will keep you warm
You can look out of your window at the storm
But you watch the phone and hope it rings
You'll take her any way she sings,
or how she calls, the beauty of the rain
is how it falls, how it falls, how it falls
How it falls, how it falls, how it falls

Day 64: Gorgeous Memories

Some days are harder than others. On those days, you have to pull memories of beautiful things up and hold on to them. I am grateful that I have so many beautiful memories to choose from on days like today. I take comfort, too, in imagining what is ahead of me. In far more eloquent words than mine, Muriel Barbery writes:

"I have finally concluded, maybe that's what life is about: there's a lot of despair, but also the odd moment of beauty, where time is no longer the same. It's as if those strains of music created a sort of interlude in time, something suspended, an elsewhere that had come to us, an always within never.
Yes, that's it, an always within never.
Don't worry, Renee...From now on, for you, I'll be searching for those moments of always within never.
Beauty, in this world."


With Alex at Berna's wedding, above; her wedding, below.


And Kauai, 2009:



Champasak, Laos, 2008

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
-Mary Oliver

I will never stop looking for the unexpected, for the beautiful.

Day 63: Continuing the cycle

Today I trained my replacement at work. It's definitely interesting to be passing the torch - I haven't done this in a while. When I left the Getty, they hadn't hired my replacement yet, so I didn't really pass any torches. It was a really validating experience: I realized how much I did know and had learned in this role, and she complimented me on the systems that I'd built to do this work better.

Day 62: New digs

I'm grateful to have a new apartment with a private yard!
This also helps planning the move, to have the address nailed down.

Day 61

True love is possible. I am grateful to Berna & Becky for reminding me of that. Congratulations to Mrs & Mrs Duran-Brown!

Day 59: Fun Fridays (even if they are tardy)

This is a late post for Friday, August 12. It was a very long and busy day. Tardy, I know!

Today I am grateful to have spent the day with one of my dearest friends in the world, Alex. I am glad that when we get together, it's not like we have lived on opposite ends of the country for 3 years, but picking up the thread of hilarious, validating, fun, smart and a bit sassy conversation we've been having.



I am grateful to have a physical offer letter in hand from USC. I am grateful to be involved in Berna & Becky's wedding, and to have had a great lunch with them. I am grateful for finding a potential apartment. I am grateful for flaming margaritas!

I am grateful for Becky, and her love for my friend, that she could see when Berna needed a mini-bachelorette party, and told Alex & I to just take her out to make her bride happy.

Day 60: Lucas

I got to spend about two hours holding this guy.


Enough said.

Day 58: Sleep!

Today was a 22-hour day. I'm grateful for sleep. Especially chunks of consecutive sleep-hours higher than 4!

Day 57: Goodbyes that aren't goodbyes

I'm grateful for goodbyes that aren't goodbyes, but farewells (fare thee well) and see you laters.

Here's to seeing friends again, in LA.

Day 56: Vehicular progress

Today I'm grateful that things are moving forward and falling into place, and I've finally managed to definitively cross some moving prep things off my list, including the car.

After I registered it last week, I discovered I had 10 days to get my new baby inspected. Given my Florida & California travel (rough life, I know), my ten day allotment shrunk to a meager 4 potential days! I got the car inspected yesterday morning, and passed! Hooray for having all the requisite stickers to legally drive my baby in NYC!

I'm glad I didn't wait to buy a car - had I bought something the weekend of the 20th, I would have been slammed getting these technicalities checked off, what with finishing work, Diane and my mom coming, and packing out my apartment. So I am grateful for a sense of completion, in one of the columns on my moving spreadsheet to-do list.

And I have faith the other columns will, ever so slowly, get checked off too.

Day 55: Life is an ebb and flow

"If you’re not busy being born, you’re busy dying."
-Bob Dylan

Today I am grateful for the reminder to fully live each day. And for the reminder that new life comes, always, even when we are mourning another loss. We need to savor today, the present; be mindful and find joy in every moment.

Rest in peace, Carla Gazzolo. You were an amazing boss, an inimitable character, and a phenom. I am better for knowing you.

Welcome (yet to be named) baby boy to Raisa & Jon!

Day 54: the joy of the ordinary

Today I'm thankful for the banal: a safe flight, a trip to the gym, a quiet dinner, the chance to do laundry and pick up dry cleaning before a busy week - and a busy month. I can't believe it's already the first week of August (it's over already!) and I've got a lot coming up: a trip to LA for Berna's wedding, and the baptism; then back, Diane visits (hooray!), Mom comes, I pack out, and...then the next chapter begins. So it's ok to have a down day in a month that will be so full.

I'm also grateful for a pomegranate popsicle, some trashy tv, and an early night!

Day 53: Oceans

Today I am grateful for oceans. Within the space of a month, I'll be in the Atlantic Ocean, the Gulf of Mexico, and the Pacific.



And as e.e. cummings wrote, "whatever we lose / like a you or a me / it's always ourselves / we find in the sea."

Day 52: Grandparents

Today I'm posting from Seminole, Florida. I'm incredibly grateful to have such amazing grandparents. They're incredibly kind people, even though my grandfather would protest this and claim he's grumpy. We went to a turtle pond, had ice cream, and went to a lovely dinner with the gregarious and entertaining Ms Betty at the Wine Cellar. I couldn't be happier to be here, and I feel so blessed to have such a great family.

Day 51: A New Job!

for Thursday, August 4
Yay! I'm so grateful that I got a formal job offer yesterday! Phew - big exhale, and some champagne to boot!

For Days 52 & 53, I'll be in Florida, so I might not post on time, but I'll post loads of gratitude upon my return from visiting my awesome grandparents. So excited to see them! I'm definitely one lucky, blessed lady.

Day 50!

I'm grateful that things have a way of lining up, when you don't push them. This is a new lesson for me!

Day 49: Celebrating Love

Next week one of my dearest friends is getting married to the most amazing woman, the love of her life, and I'm so grateful to be headed to LA to fete their relationship.

As I was looking for readings to do at their wedding, I re-found this great poem by Denise Levertov, A Prayer for Revolutionary Love.

That a woman not ask a man to leave meaningful work to
follow her.
That a man not ask a woman to leave meaningful work to
follow him.

That no one try to put Eros in bondage.
But that no one put a cudgel in the hands of Eros.

That our loyalty to one another and our loyalty to our work
not be set in false conflict.

That our love for each other give us love for each other's work.
That our love for each other's work give us love for one another.

That our love for each other's work give us love for one another.
That our love for each other give us love for each other's work.

That our love for each other, if need be,
give way to absence. And the unknown.

That we endure absence, if need be,
without losing our love for each other.
Without closing our doors to the unknown.

-Oh that love might set us free.

Day 48: Absence

Today I'm going to cheat a little bit, and say I'm grateful for the lack of something: I'm grateful that certain coworkers go on vacation and are not always in the office with me. I am grateful for the breathing room that creates!