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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Day 120: Hamoun - & the world beyond!



حامون

The film Hamoun begins with the words, "I am at the seaside, with known and unknown people."

Thus begins an Iranian film from 1990 about a graduate student who is trying to understand where his partnership went awry. His wife leaves him. And he doesn't understand. I get where you're at, Hamoun.

Bad news, Mom, I am developing a serious thing for Iran. I don't know why I can't ever get obsessed with places you'd be ok with me visiting. First it was the photography and the art. Now the cinema. And I'm looking into Farsi classes...

I am grateful that the world is so large and beautiful and wonderful and hidden and open ...and there is more to discover, always. For that, I am so grateful.

Day 119: Just another day on the lot...

OH MY GOD. What happened today?

I'm trying to share pictures with you, but basically all hell broke loose at work. We were delivering a half-day seminar at Sony Pictures Entertainment, and I was meant to be there at noon. I arrived early, found the Rita Hayworth room (next to the Cary Grant Theater) but as soon as I got there, realized I had forgotten a flash drive with some information saved for my boss, who was leaving the seminar to travel directly to Texas. Once she arrived, we spoke with our Sony counterpart, who confirmed she had also neglected to print the handouts and materials for the afternoon session. So she ran off to the printer, and I ran back to my house (luckily Sony is in Culver City and 10 minutes from my apartment) for the flash drive. It was quite the stressful afternoon.

I have a picture of the lot for you, but true to the spirit of this day, I can't get it off my phone and onto my email. So...it's just a teaser for now.

When I finally got home (late), I had to work on a very important project with a looming deadline. I made myself dinner and ate at the computer...until 11:45pm, when I finished.

I am thankful for opportunities, for the chance to stretch myself, and that days like today pass. All things pass. I meditated tonight on that - about beginnings, and endings (also the theme of our seminar, which is basically teaching remedial English literature to executives who need to be reminded that stories have beginnings, middles & ends and there should be a conflict to get your audience excited). The more I meditated, the more I realized, yes, this is a cycle. Things come, things go; hard times come, hard times go; happiness comes, happiness goes. I just need to accept the flow, and stop trying to make it other than what it is.

Part of me - the New Yorker part - looks at the paragraph above and thinks, "Well there's your California Zen for the day." And the West Coast girl in me says, "Yes! New York, let it out...come home, be one with it..."

Monday, October 10, 2011

Day 118: West in Eden

I've been enjoying Steinbeck's East of Eden lately. I have to confess, I've never really read Steinbeck before. But when I moved to New York, Emile and I moved into this apartment in the East Village that a Dutch lesbian recently moved out of, leaving the country in a hurry (visa issues, we're told) and in her rushed departure, she left behind all her furniture - convenient for us - and a few books, including a copy of East of Eden as well as a book about the ghettos in America.



So now, three years later, I'm finally reading the book that was left for me. I also watched the James Dean movie version (hello, James Dean. I get why the ladies were all up on you now. Foxy). What a gorgeous inter-generational story of California, of humanity! The 1955 film version cuts it down to some of the basics, omitting a lot of salacious drama, but also some of the more fascinating characters (Lee, Samuel Hamilton, etc). But I have found something really beautiful in reading this classic story of California's founding and growing years, how people came here for new futures and built themselves out of nothing, struggled, survived, and ultimately thrived in this amazing place. There is something parallel about my own westward journey. Yes, I love New York - I have to, I always will, I miss it. But I love the west, and I love Steinbeck's vision of the historic West.

I also love words. I am incredibly grateful for the ravenously rich English language, and the delight of that language being well handled. So I will share some of my favorite pieces with you, as they've brought me joy.

I love Steinbeck's description of nostalgia (end of chapter 12), which ends with, "Oh, but the strawberries will never taste so good again and the thighs of women have lost their clutch!" (129). How great is that?!

Everything about this exchange is perfect, too, when Adam describes falling in love with Cathy:
"I'll want to hear," Samuel said. "I eat stories like grapes."
"A kind of light spread out from her. And everything changed color. And the world opened out. And a day was good to awaken to. And there were no limits to anything. And the people of the world were good and handsome. And I was not afraid of it anymore" (168).


In the end, though, it's Steinbeck's description of the story of the world that I find most captivating.

A child may ask, "What is the world's story about?" And a grown man or woman may wonder, "What way will the world go? How does it end and, while we're at it, what's the story about?"
I believe that there is one story in the world, and only one, that has frightened and inspired us, so that we live in Pearl White serial of continuing thought and wonder. Humans are caught - in their lives, in their thoughts, in their hungers and ambitions, in their avarice and cruelty, and in their kindness and generosity too - in a net of good and evil. I think that this is the only story we have and that it occurs on all levels of feeling and intelligence. Virtue and vice were warp and woof of our first consciousness, and they will be the fabric of our last, and this despite any changes we may impose on field and river and mountain, on economy and manners. There is no other story. A man, after he has brushed off the dust and chips of his life, will have left only the hard, clean questions: Was it good or was it evil? Have I done well - or ill? (411).


Well, the hard, clean question is: was it good? Have I done well?

Day 117: Kingly Speech

Tardy for Sunday, October 9

I was a bit bad last night and I stayed up late to watch The King's Speech after having Alex & Stephen over for dinner (instead of doing my daily gratitude in a timely fashion).

I really enjoyed the film, not only because Colin Firth is easy on the eyes as well as massively talented, but for the main message of the film. The main message is that we have to overcome our fear, our past, our demons, and own ourselves proudly to become great. We have to find our own voice.

I can get behind that.

I am also grateful to have shared a lovely - and fairly delicious, if I do say so myself (after having cooked it) - meal with my dear friends Alex & Stephen, for dining al fresco under fairy lights in my backyard, for dulce de leche cheesecake for dessert, and that gorgeous laughter and intimacy of deep friendships.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Day 116: Los Angeles is amazing


Today I'm grateful for chance opportunities. Want something bad enough and it happens. Apparently, including obsessing about Ryan Gosling for months and then SEEING HIM AT DINNER. God bless LA.

Day 115: Friday!

I'm grateful for peaceful, lazy days. Yeah, at some point I'm gonna have to leave this great little apartment and do things, but...not yet.

Also, I'm grateful that I'm harder on myself than others are, and that when I think I'm out of the running, that doesn't necessarily mean that I am.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Day 114: California Sunsets

tardy for Thursday, October 6



Also, messages I saw today & enjoyed: